What is ‘holding space?’
— and Why It Matters (Even If You’ve Never Been to Therapy)
Holding space is a phrase you may have heard — especially around the field of mental health and wellness — but what does it actually mean? There’s lot of jargon in the self-help realm that isn’t always practical, but this one is. So how can it help you, even if you’ve never been to therapy?
In simple terms, holding space means being present for someone (or yourself) with openness, empathy, and without judgment. It’s about creating emotional room — the kind where you don’t rush to fix, solve, or silence what’s being felt. And for many people, learning to hold space is their first experience of real emotional safety.
Why Does It Matter?
Most of us aren’t taught how to sit with hard emotions — not our own, and definitely not other people’s. We’re taught to “stay strong,” “get over it,” or “look on the bright side.” While those intentions may come from a good place, they often leave us feeling dismissed or emotionally isolated.
Holding space offers the opposite: connection. And that connection is where healing begins — whether you're offering it to a friend, a partner, a child, or yourself.
How Holding Space Helps (Even Outside of Therapy)
You don’t need to be a therapist to hold space. In fact, you probably already do it in small ways:
Listening to a friend vent without jumping in with advice.
Letting yourself cry without shame.
Giving someone time to process before asking them to “move on.”
When you hold space, you’re saying: Your feelings are allowed here. You don’t need to perform. You don’t need to be fixed. You’re human, and that’s enough.
How to Practice Holding Space
Here are some small but meaningful ways to start:
Listen more than you speak: Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can say is, “That sounds really hard. I’m here.”
Resist the urge to fix: You don’t need to solve someone’s pain to validate it. Just being present is powerful.
Stay curious, not judgmental: Ask questions like, “What’s that been like for you?” instead of “Why didn’t you just…?”
Hold space for yourself: This might be the hardest part. But try asking, “What do I need right now?” or “Can I meet this feeling with kindness instead of criticism?”
Therapy Is One Way to Experience This — But Not the Only Way
In therapy, a trained professional holds space for you every session. But that kind of presence isn’t limited to the therapy room. Anyone — including you — can learn to create emotional space that feels safe, compassionate, and honest.
Whether or not you ever go to therapy, learning to hold space is a life-changing skill. It deepens relationships, softens self-judgment, and reminds us that simply being human is more than enough.
