Understanding and Easing Mom Guilt
If you’ve ever ended the day replaying your parenting “mistakes,” comparing yourself to others, or wondering if you’re doing enough—you’ve felt it: mom guilt. Some days I feel like some sort of expert in it! It creeps in most when I’m feeling run down, I ‘cut corners,’ or feel like I’m just not doing enough.
Mom guilt is the nagging inner voice that whispers, “You should be doing more,” even when you’re stretched thin. It can affect any mom, regardless of parenting style, working status, or number of children. And while it’s common, it doesn’t have to control you.
Where Does Mom Guilt Come From?
Modern motherhood comes with enormous pressure. Social media often showcases curated images of “perfect parenting,” while internal expectations push moms to excel at everything: nurturing children, maintaining a home, pursuing a career, supporting a partner, meal planning and managing their own health.
Some common triggers of mom guilt include:
Returning to work or choosing to stay home
Using screen time to get a break
Wanting time away from your kids
Comparing yourself to other parents
Struggling to balance multiple roles
What’s important to understand is this: guilt is often less about what you’re doing and more about the stories you tell yourself about what it means to be a “good” mom.
The Hidden Cost of Mom Guilt
Unchecked guilt can lead to burnout, anxiety, and self-criticism. It can prevent you from being present, setting healthy boundaries, asking for help, or prioritizing your own well-being. Ironically, over time, this emotional weight can impact your ability to connect with your children.
Ways to Cope with and Reframe Mom Guilt
1. Get Curious, Not Critical
Instead of judging yourself for feeling guilty, ask: What is this guilt trying to tell me? Where is this actually coming from? Sometimes guilt is a signal of your values—but other times, it’s just an unrealistic standard talking.
2. Redefine “Good Mom”
A good mom isn’t perfect. She is present, caring, and human. She makes mistakes and apologizes. It’s okay to model imperfection, emotional regulation, and self-care to your children—that’s what real life looks like.
3. Set Boundaries and Ask for Help
Delegating tasks, saying no, and taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Resentment grows where needs go unmet. I know it can feel SO hard and humbling to seek help, but you matter, too. Model that for your kids.
4. Limit Comparison
Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel less than. Every family has a different rhythm and reality. You cannot compare yourself to someone with completely different circumstances, resources and schedules. Focus on what works for you.
5. Talk to Someone
Whether it’s a trusted friend or a licensed therapist, voicing your guilt out loud often softens its grip. You're not alone in this.
You're Not a Bad Mom—You're a Tired One
At True North Vitality, we support moms in navigating emotional health through every season of parenting. If mom guilt is making it hard to enjoy motherhood or prioritize yourself, we’re here to help.
Guilt may visit from time to time—but it doesn’t get to drive your decisions. The fact that you care is already proof that you’re doing something right. From one mom to another: know that you don’t need to be everything to everyone. You just need to be you—with love, intention, and grace.
